Everyone is broke in college; it’s a fact of life. Similarly, most college students like to go out, hang with friends and drink a little. The Scout reviewed some of the best (and worst) cheap wines offered at Aldi (one of the best places to buy cheap anything). Although we are only able to afford crappy, cheap wine, we’re happy to make do with what we got despite our limited financial means. Take a look at our best (meaning cheapest) contenders.
MADDIE: I’m not a typical college student because I’m not into the whole drinking scene. I guess I’m also a bad Italian because I know nothing about wine. But I’ll take a bottle of Welch’s sparkling grape juice over any of these cheap wines Tori could suggest any day.
TORI: My favorite activity is drinking an entire 1.5L bottle of cheap, pink wine while watching trash reality TV before Maddie DDs me to a McDonald’s.
Massimino Mango Moscato
MADDIE: It smells like a tropical beach and sunscreen. It kind of tastes like sunscreen, too. But we didn’t refrigerate this one, so maybe that’s our fault. I give this two out of five golden grapes.
TORI: IT’S SO FRICKIN’ SWEET. I’m a big fan of mango, and this wine gets that fruity flavor right, but it also feels like every sip is forcing a pound of sugar onto my tastebuds and down my throat. That overly sugary flavor lingers for a while after you drink, too. I score this wine a low-hanging one golden grape.
Tempranillo Viña Fuerte
MADDIE: This one smells terrifying. I hate red wine. The label has a big image of a bull’s head on it, and I can taste the Spanish farm dust in it. I chugged my glass just to get it over with. Yuck. No golden grapes here – just raisins.
TORI: It smells like nail polish remover mixed with cherries. According to the bottle, it’s supposed to taste like black cherry and plum, but honestly, it tastes like dry, alcohol-infused water. I can handle red wines (unlike someone I know *cough Maddie cough*), but this one just doesn’t have great flavor. Since I think it’s more drinkable than the sugar-laden moscato, I give this red wine two golden grapes out of five.
Flirty Bird Sauvignon Blanc
MADDIE: This is a lot lighter than the dry red and the super sweet mango. I felt the need to swirl it around in my glass like the pros do, just to get the feel of drinking an actual, quality wine. It went really well with my $1 ramen and cheese puffs (hah, wine and cheese). Three out of five golden grapes.
TORI: This wine smells like ripe melons and freshly cut grass. It’s super refreshing to drink and has me picturing myself overlooking a beach from a balcony at a ritzy resort with a buff, handsome man named Sergio escorting me to my next massage and mud bath. If spa-time cucumber water was transformed into an alcoholic beverage, it would be this. Four out of five golden grapes.
Winking Owl White Zinfandel
MADDIE: Why is it called “white zinfandel” when the wine is actually pink? I had about half a sip of this one before I spilled the rest of it on my homework. It tastes like springtime and flower blossoms, and the cute little owl label was a definite plus. I give it three and a half out of five golden grapes.
TORI: I took a sip of this wine and “Strawberry Fields Forever” immediately started playing in my head. This drink is super fruity, but it doesn’t attack your mouth with sugar (looking at you, mango moscato). It also has a nice floral smell. I let Maddie have a sip of the wine, but I ended up quickly finishing the entire bottle in a night. A note from Drunk Tori: “superrrrrrr.” I give this wine five out of five golden grapes.