Be afraid, but do it anyway

I’m about to graduate from college.

Sh*t.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m stoked. I’m finally finishing the 22-year-long tutorial in the game of life; I can play the rest of the game now and go after those unique weapons and artifacts. Well, I guess not so much unique weapons … more like making sure I don’t forget to buy grapes or toothpaste at Wal-Mart.

This unparalleled freedom, though, is also why I’m scared out of my mind. I’m at a point where I feel like everyone else knows what they’re doing. But here I am, going crazy like a Wacky Inflatable Arm-flailing Tube Man.

A lot of what I’m nervous about is making mistakes. Of course, this is silly, considering everyone makes mistakes all the time and no one really knows what they’re doing in life. But, all the mistakes I’ve made got me here.

I wouldn’t have figured out I have a passion for graphic design or photography if I hadn’t stayed up until five in the morning while struggling to finish engineering homework (that I hated, in case you were wondering).

I don’t think I’d have the great friends I do now if I hadn’t decided to get out of my room a bit more my junior year. Gotta take the small victories, am I right?

I’ve mostly lived my life in a worried state thus far, constantly thinking about things that have happened before and how I could have changed the outcome. I’ve worried about what’s going to happen next, thinking, “What’s gonna go wrong?” rather than, “What’s gonna go OK?” And right now, I’m more scared than ever — it’s like starting an open-world video game and having no idea what to do first and being afraid to do anything.

“Be afraid, but do it anyway.” That’s a quote I fell in love with in high school — my girlfriend even got me a necklace with it engraved on a dog tag (thanks, love). That quote is becoming more and more relevant the closer I get to graduation.

I think I’ve got the being-afraid-part down pat by now, but I’ve reached a point where I’m ready to tackle the “do it anyway.”

I’ve played my fair share of video games … this one shouldn’t be too different. I just wonder what the boss fight is going to be like.