A dictionary definition of “emotion” describes the word as “a natural instinctive state of mind deriving from one’s circumstances, mood or relationships with others.” So in other words, it’s normal for us as humans to experience a wide range of emotions throughout our lives.
But if that’s the case, why do so many people, including myself at one point, feel it’s better to bury our feelings and hide behind the mask of a happy or stoic face?
Maybe it stems from pride, as some could feel they’re too strong or too tough to be weighed down by sadness or anger. Or how about societal influence? We live in a time where men who show any sign of emotion are considered “weak” and women are deemed “needy” – a pair of words that aren’t the most flattering of descriptors.
For me, I know that my struggles with sharing my feelings come from the fact that I simply don’t like admitting that I’m unhappy sometimes. Plus, it doesn’t really feel good to be sad, angry or lonely, so why even bother with all of that nonsense?
For the longest time, I went through life believing that if I just ignored how I truly felt at times, the negative emotions would just fade away, and I could move on without a care in the world. But I eventually realized that after years of trying, hiding from my feelings simply didn’t work and it was time for me to start openly experiencing them as a part of who I am.
This truth first started to click for me this summer, when the relationship I had been in for the past year came to an end. I remember struggling for the next few days to express how I was feeling with friends and family by simply saying that I was “okay” and that there are “other girls” before assuring them not to worry about me.
Truth is, I wasn’t okay – I wasn’t able to sleep at night, and I didn’t enjoy doing the things that I normally loved to do during the day. A week or so had passed before I finally acknowledged the fact that I was sad and insecure and felt as if a piece in the puzzle that is Jaylyn Cook had been removed and was lost until further notice.
I had begun to truly experience my emotions for the first time in a long time, and it prompted me to start sharing how I felt with those around me. Before long, I started to feel better – not completely ready to move on, but much better off than I would be if I had continued to remain untrue to myself.
The bottom line (and yes, there is a point for me sharing all of that) is that we should never be afraid to express and feel our feelings during our lives. All of the stereotypes are untrue: crying doesn’t make you weak, and sharing your sadness and frustrations with someone doesn’t make you needy. The reality is that emotions make us human, and while negative ones can bring us pain, remember that it’s only temporary and that happy days will return soon.
