We’re all going to make it

My younger sister Laura is the spitting image of me: Same face, same fashion sense (sweats on sweats, typically), same competitive spirit, same humor, same good grades. Laura (or as I so lovingly call her, “Fart”) is going to find a cure for cancer or diabetes some day. She’s pretty awesome.

She’s going off to college next year and still hasn’t decided where she’s going. Fart has had months to think about it, but she’s going to take until the very last moment to decide on her future. So naturally, everyone she knows has his or her two cents on the matter.

“You should go to the school that feels best for you,” “What school has the better major you want?” “Have you made a pro/con list of each school?” are questions that torment her and physically force a scowl onto her face.

The most dreaded opinion of all is, “Well, no matter where you end up, you’re going to do great.” That one has come from everyone, like me, who thinks Fart is a superstar.

You know how I said Laura and I are exactly the same? Yeah, I’ve been getting that last one a lot recently, too. And like Fart, it pisses me off.

It pisses me off because I have no idea what I want to do anymore. I’ve gone from wanting to be a Sportscenter anchor to an athletic director to a sports writer to a sports lawyer and currently have no effing clue. How can I tell myself I’m going to be great at something when I don’t know what that something is?

It pisses me off because what if it isn’t going to be all right? I’m pretty much like Patrick Star when he read “West” as “Weast” – I have no direction. This stress isn’t normal; It’s scary.

It pisses me off because I know nothing in my life will ever be like college again. I love going to class, doing homework and getting drunk on the weekends to reward myself. But right now, I can’t tell if I’m just trying to live up my last semester or if I’m developing crippling alcoholism.

It pisses me off because I’m embarrassed. I’m graduating without a job, which is dejecting to me. I thought I had life figured out – now it feels like I’m swimming upstream with Jell-o limbs. All my friends have jobs, and I feel like I’m just losing at the game of life, and, if you can’t tell, I’m a pretty sore loser.

Really, though, it pisses me off because, in the end, I know they’re right. I know I’m going to be OK. Because, like any sore loser, I’ll keep playing until I win. The only reason I’m losing right now is because I don’t know how to play the game yet.

But I will, and I’ll come out on top in the end. And so will all my brothers in Sigma Nu, who’ll truly be brothers for life. And so will the residents of Bradley Cooper, the best friends my dumb ass could ask for. And so will my best friend, who’s going to be teaching the future leaders of America.

And so will the amazing staff members on The Scout I’ve known for the past three years – the funniest, goofiest, most dramatic and greatest team members in the world.

And so will you, Laura.