‘Dead Petz’ or dead ears?

Miley Cyrus’ new album, “Miley Cyrus and Her Dead Petz,” was released for free on Aug. 30 after she hosted the Video Music Awards on MTV. Once I listened to the whole album, it became clear very quickly why she could not possibly charge money for her songs.

Before I even touch the music, let’s discuss the images associated with the album. There were three rotating pictures of the pop star’s face covered in honey and candy sprinkles, caked in blueish glitter and drenched with milk pouring over her closed eyes and into her mouth. All of these pictures, naturally, included her infamous open-mouthed expression.

I tried to look for a hidden meaning behind these visuals, but it became pretty obvious there was no symbolism. However, when I played the song “Milky, Milky, Milk,” it consisted of Miley repeating the title over and over and (not so subtly) hinting at body parts that can produce this milky, milky milk.

She does throw in metaphors throughout the album, as seen in “Tangerine,” where she relates “The sun is a giant spaceship tangerine/ It shoots out rays of hopeful golden morphine.” Or in “Evil is But A Shadow,” where the analogy is stated in the title, but there is zero elaboration throughout the song.

Her songs vary in length, the shortest being “F***in F***ed Up,” which is 50 seconds consisting of “f*** it” said in different voices. Another interesting one is “Miley Tibetan Bowlzzz,” which is two minutes and nine seconds of her whining in the background. The actual lyrics for the song are [Instrumental+Miley crooning].

According to People Magazine, the inspiration for her album was the death of her pets, specifically from a vision she had of her dead dog coming back to her and transferring his spirit to one of her friends.

Other contributing artists to this album are Sarah Barthel of Phantogram, Big Sean and Ariel Pink.

Overall, this album is an offense to music and art as a whole. Saying random words, many of which include obscenities, with mismatched background noise is not synonymous to a song.