It happens to all of us. We scroll through Facebook and watch Snapchat stories, all with perfectly filtered evidence to show everything we missed out on. Thanks to the wonders of WiFi, we’re invited to freely browse social media sites for hours until you find yourself asking, “Why am I not doing these things?” Fear of missing out, better known as “FOMO” is real, and the stages of grief that follow it are too.
No. It’s not happening. They aren’t out without me. Seriously, they ALWAYS invite me. I’m sure they just all happen to be at that restaurant on their own and ran into each other; you can’t not take a picture together if a coincidence like that happens, right?
Who the f*ck do they think they are? They wouldn’t even know about that restaurant if it wasn’t for me. Someone must’ve lost all my contact information or something, but this is ridiculous. Things are probably weird without me there. I’m the Beyonce of this Destiny’s Child girl group. WTF.
Maybe it’s not so bad. I have a paper that I need to type and sheets that need to be washed. I wanted to catch up on “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt” anyways. Also, that Olive Garden in my fridge probably won’t last another day, so maybe it’s best that I stay in for dinner. It’s fine. I’m fine. Who me? I’M FINE.
I have no friends. They hate me. Why would they want me there? They must be breaking up with me. Have they been inviting me out of pity this whole time? I guess I’ll just stay home this weekend. My bed is the only thing that loves me back. I’m never leaving this room.
This is OK. Maybe I’m not always Beyonce, and I should be fair and take on the role of another Destiny’s Child member; it’s only fair. I don’t need to scroll through social media looking at stuff that gives me FOMO. I’ll be there next time… and it’ll be much more fun.