Originally published September 17, 2010
In my days on this Earth, I’ve watched, eaten and listened to some pretty awful things. I mean, I watched the Bears this past weekend, and I’ve eaten tortilla chips and vanilla frosting. I was like 10 – give me a break.
As a fan of any type of music, metal music in particular, I’ve seen some pretty awful bands.
That said, I’m kind of strange when it comes to music because I sometimes enjoy music for being awful more than being good. It’s like people who love “Troll 2” or “The Room.”
And while I’d love to write a second column for the Scout about Linkin Park continuing to waste my time with U2 tribute albums, I’d have more fun writing about the bands I’ve found that are so bad I can’t stop listening to them.
Yakuza: This was my first time being subjecting to a band I was taken aback by.
First off, this band isn’t necessarily bad. They’re a style of metal called avant-garde metal.
And that’s not exactly my scene.
It also didn’t help that they were thrown into a completely different type of concert last minute to replace a band that had gotten too big to open this show.
Halfway through the concert, they didn’t help their cause by shouting, “Let’s throw it up for Satan.”
I know metal gets a bad rap in the religion category, but not a single hand went into the air, and I’m proud.
After they wrapped up the devil worship, they wanted to get the crowd moving and encouraged them to dance. Even if it is little weird, but movement is understandable at a concert, until they started playing sludge metal.
If you’ve never heard sludge metal before, I bet you can guess where it gets its name. It doesn’t move all that quickly.
All in all, a great first band to hate to love.
blessthefall: This band was an up and coming band that was in between singers when I saw them.
Since then they’ve gotten better, but not by much. They still provided some good laughs a couple years ago.
They took the stage right after Bullet For My Valentine and proceeded to defile the crowd with their screams of agony on stage.
Their crowning achievement on this particular evening came from their singer who took his turn on the keyboard but decided he wasn’t tough enough and proceeded to headbang while playing the keyboard.
It wasn’t your casual headbang that tells people, “Hey, I’m digging our sound right now,” but rather the “if I don’t move at 100 mph, I’m going to have a brain aneurism” headbang. Let me tell you, it was quite the sight.
Brokencyde: Anyone who has the great pleasure of hanging out with me while I’m in a particular mood has undoubtedly heard this band. This band will forever be the worst band I’ve ever had the great displeasure of witnessing first hand.
If you’ve never heard them before, suck it up and bear through just thirty seconds of one of their musical gems. These words will not do them justice. This is a band that has to be heard first hand to be understood.
The premise of Brokencyde is they are some sort of hip-hop slash metal aptly called crunkcore. Imagine Lil Jon meets the psych ward.
This vile combo of “music” decimated my ears for an eternity and the worst part was almost every 16-year-old kid knew every word to their songs.
So my advice to you is to go see some bands you might not have ever heard of before.
