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Dispatch to Instant View Purgatory: The Chick Magnet

Services like Netflix and YouTube have made the most recent films readily available to anyone. Can we find anything of value in the muck of b-movies, ambitious failures and exploitative crap-fests? We’re going to find out in Dispatches from Instant View Purgatory.

What’re we watching: “The Chick Magnet,” a raunchy independent sex comedy from 2011.

What does it look like: Think of the perviest guy you know. His fantasy is this movie.

What’s going on: Three douchey guys, all of whom have had a variety of problems meeting and maintaining relationships with women are given a, we’ll call it, “magic” shirt that attracts women like rabid animals in heat. Predictable sexual hijinks and an awkward love story ensue.

Why haven’t we heard of this: This is one of the least funny alleged comedies ever made.

What works: Tracy Morgan is in the movie for about 10 seconds.

What doesn’t: All of it, but mostly the characters. After about five minutes, I wished everyone who was involved with this movie to die a grisly death. It’s brutally misogynistic, racist, encourages rape fantasies as well as pedophilia and features jokes that wouldn’t get a chuckle from the dumbest bunch of bros you know.

Skip to: Skip to the credits. Read the names of all the lead male actors. Memorize these names. Now look up their addresses. You know what you must do.

The Verdict: “The Chick Magnet” is proof that anyone can write a sex comedy and almost no one can do it well. It’s a movie I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

What’s coming up next: Jonathan Demme is one of the greatest directors of all time. He also might be one of the only people who can say that after he started off with making an exploitation film about women prison murder in 1979’s “Caged Heat.”

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