This past decade has brought some big changes in my life. I moved on from junior high, to high school, to college. My taste in music, movies and TV shows changed.
And since the highly mature age of 12, my discerning taste in men has changed as well.
So I set out to pick one crush for each year. I move fast, people. Let’s start off with a quick disclaimer. Let not the gigantic eyeglasses and hot, sexy braces fool you – I was awkward, nerdy and very single for most of this decade.
2000- Anyone in the band O-Town
Though I began as more of a Backstreet girl, I was somehow quickly won over by O-Town.
“Making The Band,” the show on MTV in which five men were chosen to be in the newest boy band on the pop scene, quickly became a weekly TV staple for me that year. Then I saw them in concert. All my dreams were fully realized after that.
P.S.: whoever is reading this, you are among the select group of people who know I went to an O-Town concert and enjoyed myself. When I was 12, though. Not anymore.
2001- Oliver Wood – “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone”
“And the award for biggest nerd goes to … ” I’m proud to be one of those rotten muggles who gladly skipped the difficult part of the Harry Potter series (reading) and went straight for the movie version of the book. I don’t mess around. And it was totally worth it, because there’s no way I could’ve made Oliver Wood, captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, look that cute in my head.
2002- Shawn Hunter – “Boy Meets World”
“Boy Meets World” was actually off the air by 2000, but I only started watching it a few years later. (Thank you, Disney Channel reruns.) 2002 was the year I met Shawn Hunter, the on-screen love of my life. Anyone who ever watched this show can attest to the fact that Cory Matthews’ rough best friend was likely the most attractive thing to grace the planet.
2003- Any and all Warped Tour musicians
Enter: summer after eighth grade. I busted right out of my plaid-skirted school uniform into outfits I thought were slightly cooler.
Cue the copious amounts of checkered belts, anarchy symbols and ballpoint pen-decorated Chuck Taylor sneakers.
Loud music blasted from my headphones, usually comprised of the calming sounds of Rancid. So my 2003 Biggest Crush Award goes to anyone with an electric guitar or drumsticks, basically.
2004- Michael Phelps- Olympics, Athens, Greece
You can probably understand my reasoning on this one. I needn’t explain further.
2005- Dr. John Dorian- “Scrubs”
May I reiterate, nerdy and very single. J.D. wins my 2005 Biggest Crush Award because he’s the kind of guy who could make me laugh in an otherwise uncomfortable hospital situation. I certainly enjoy a man who can tell a good joke. I also like a guy who’s been through a few years of medical school. Hello, salary. I’m totally kidding. But seriously.
2006- Andy Samberg- “Saturday Night Live”
Alright, there is no one on this planet who can resist that smile. Happy birthday to the GROUND.
2007- Tay Zonday- “Chocolate Rain”
I only had to sit through this video once to know the “Chocolate Rain” guy was the one for me. I could actually only handle listening to the song once, and couldn’t even sit through the entire thing, but I feel like we could move past that if I just had a chance with him. I appreciate a good sense of rhythm, instant popularity and a weirdly low baritone vocal range on a dude who looks like he’s pushing 14.
2008- Christian Bale- “The Dark Knight”
Hello, washboard stomach and oily bat-muscles. While I’m looking for a guy who’s got brains and a great personality, I’m also looking for tall, dark and stealthy men who fly for a living and cater to your every whim at the flip of a light switch. Like, hey Christian, I’m in dire need of a diamond necklace. Boom. Bat-Signal.
2009- Jason Segel- “I Love You, Man”
There are no other men worthy of this year’s Biggest Crush Award but Jason Segel. From his roots in “SLC Punk!” and “Freaks & Geeks” to this decade’s “How I Met Your Mother,” and 2009’s “I Love You, Man,” he’s just the kind of guy I could take home to my parents. And then he would bust out an insanely dirty joke and they’d probably both still find it hilarious.
Justine Harris is a junior public relations major from Normal. She is the Voice editor.
Direct questions, comments and other responses to jmharris@mail.bradley.edu.
