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Singers aren’t actors: don’t try it

Last weekend I decided to watch an episode of Saturday Night Live in honor of Tina Fey’s return as host. Also featured in the show was musical guest star Justin Bieber. Not only did JB sing, he performed in a few skits.
Don’t worry, his acting consisted of nothing more than hair flipping and odd accents, nothing worthy of winning an Academy Award. But it got me thinking about how many singers out there decide to dabble in acting and think they’re good at it.
Now, I’ll be the first person to admit there are plenty of actors who’s only profession is acting and they’re still terrible at it – for example, Rachel Bilson in “Jumper.” But there are some singers who should never be on the big screen, and I’ve compiled a list of them.
Miley Cyrus “The Last Song”
Everyone knows that nowadays money and nepotism will get you places before actual talent. Need proof? Check out Miley’s acting job in “The Last Song,” or better yet, wait until it’s available from Redbox.
Miley spends the entire movie doing what she does best, overacting, pouting and flashing her signature crooked, snaggle-toothed smile. Not to mention, she forever ruined the song “She Will Be Loved” for me.
Without her, the movie has some pretty solid actors and introduces newcomer Liam Hemsworth into Hollywood, who has good potential. But it’s not enough to save Miley’s stumbling around or the typical Nicholas Sparks’ ending of the film.
Taylor Swift “Valentine’s Day”
Taylor played a small role in this year’s “Valentine’s Day” but that was enough to assure me that she should stick to what she does best – singing about having her heart broken by boys who like other girls.
Granted, Taylor’s character was meant to be a ditzy high school girl, but her acting was awkward and painful to watch. Also, is anyone else getting weirded out by the fact that she’s now 20 and is still writing songs about high school boys?
Britney Spears “Crossroads”
This movie, like a lot of things Britney is involved in, is a mess. Its plot centers around three estranged high school friends who decide to take a road trip after graduation, but it’s obvious the film is meant to be Britney’s movie debut. One of the girls’ goals of the road trip is to sing in L.A., but she gets stage fright while performing in a karaoke bar. Lo and behold Britney is there to save the day in a mid-riff baring top.
Britney’s fans are the only ones who can take anything of value from “Crossroads.” The plot is weak and has no purpose and the situations are absolutely ridiculous. They tried passing off “I’m Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman” a poem, for God’s sake.
Justin Guarini and Kelly Clarkson “From Justin to Kelly”
When “American Idol” first came out I was an avid follower. I loved Kelly Clarkson and Justin Guarini, but was happy when Kelly won. All of these factors still did not make me want to see “From Justin to Kelly.”
These are the facts I’ve gathered from people who have seen the movie. Justin and Kelly fall in love while on Spring Break and are frequently told “they are meant to be together.” Yet they barely touch each other the entire movie and even spend a romantic scene five feet apart from each other.
Also, even though the characters are in Miami for Spring Break, there’s barely any alcohol to be seen during the movie. So just to sum it up, two 20-somethings are on vacation with minimal physical contact and not a trace of alcohol – chaos must ensue.
Oh yeah, there’s music during this movie too. You might remember the hit songs from “From Justin to Kelly” such as … oh wait.
Mariah Carey “Glitter”
Enough said.
Hopefully these are enough examples of singers-turned-actors to convince you some singers should never try their hands in acting. Justin Bieber, take note.
Annabelle Vang is a junior journalism major from Pekin. She is the Scout news editor.
Direct questions, comments and other responses to avang@mail.bradley.edu.