There is no presidential candidate more qualified than the homerun king himself, Barry Bonds.
If you think about it, Bonds has all the same characteristics as politicians.
He already has the ability to blatantly lie to the public.
His health care plan would certainly stand out, allowing each person to add 50 pounds of muscle without ever leaving the couch.
This would benefit the military, while also eliminating the problem of overpopulation because of the increase of kidney-related deaths.
Bonds would no doubt win the debates, scaring his opponent off with his latest case of ’roid rage.
Campaigning would be easy, Bonds would tell the public he would pass bills to knock taxes and illegal immigrants right out of the park.
Of course, both would return when it was later found out he did this illegally, leaving an asterisk next to both passed bills.
The president is seen as the head of the nation, and seeing as Bonds may have the biggest head in the nation, he seems like a perfect fit.
As for the rest of the presidential stuff, Bonds will leave it to his running mate, Jose Canseco.
– Alex Mayster
There is only one sports star out there who could lead our country in these troubled times. And that sports star is Michael Phelps.
Here’s a fact you don’t hear much – after Phelps won his eighth gold medal at this summer’s Beijing games, his presidential approval rating was somewhere in the neighborhood of 700 percent. No president, not even Abraham Lincoln, has ever broken 100 percent, and Lincoln ended slavery for crying out loud.
Many people will tell you Phelps hasn’t been tested politically, but let me be the first to tell you that’s not true.
Phelps has shown his leadership skills in his successful relay teams, his patriotism by making every non-U.S. swimmer look like a fool and finally, his courage in that commercial where he is swimming around in a pool full of sharks.
The only question left for Phelps is who to choose as a running mate.
Correct answer: Nobody.
There is no point in paying someone to play back-up to a president who physically cannot be harmed.
Michael Phelps. Change we can believe in.
– D.J. Piehowski