Services like Netflix and YouTube have made the most recent films readily available to anyone. Can we find anything of value in the muck of b-movies, ambitious failures and exploitative crap-fests? We’re going to find out in Dispatches from Instant View Purgatory.
What’re we watching: “Dylan Dog: Dead of Night,” a 2009 supernatural noir starring Brandon Routh of “Superman Returns” as a detective who solves vampire and werewolf related crimes.
What does it look like: It’s like if someone wanted to make “Constantine” but wanted it to look way worse and wanted to shoot every scene in the dark.
What’s going on: Routh plays Dylan Dog, a former peace keeper for the undead who went rogue and murdered a bunch of vampires. He’s brought out of retirement for one last case involving a stolen artifact and his recently murdered-now-a-zombie partner, played by “Superman Returns” costar Sam Huntington.
Why haven’t we heard of this: “Dylan Dog” was based on a rarely translated Italian comic series that almost no one has heard of over here. It also made all of $4 million internationally.
What works: When the movie dips into noir clichés, it’s kind of fun to watch and the villain seems like he should be twirling his mustache constantly.
What doesn’t: The movie had a tiny $20 million budget and compensates with straight out of Halloween-super- store costumes, hooting most of the scenes in very dark environments and CGI that looks like it was done in Microsoft Paint. It’s not easy to sit through without giggling.
Skip to: At one point, the head vampire shouts, “The human race is obsolete, y’all!” There probably isn’t another movie where you can hear that.
The Verdict: There’s always someone wanting to make a terrible supernatural shoot-em up and this is just a pretty bad one. “Dylan Dog” is worth watching if you want to see more of the guy who helped make one of the worst superhero movies ever.
What’s coming up next: “Tokyo Gore Police” has been heralded as one of the bloodiest movies of all time since it made it to American shores. Is there anything of substance below all the red?
