Voice predicts the Oscars

By the time you roll into work or class on Monday, the Academy Awards will have been pre-hashed, hashed and rehashed more than Justin Bieber’s new haircut and the effect it will have on the trajectory of his career. Of course, that doesn’t mean we can’t make predictions now.

Best Picture
Winning the Academy Award for Best Picture is like reaching the top of a mountain or wrestling Chuck Norris to the ground – there is really no bigger feat of its category. That said, the elusive “Academy” is not infallible or even unbiased. This category basically breaks down into two frontrunners, “The Social Network” and “The King’s Speech.”

If you were to ask any college student to predict the outcome of this bout, they would almost across the board say “The Social Network” and how it encapsulates not just a movie dialogue, but represents an entire era of progressive, forward-thinking individuals like themselves just waiting to change the course of the nation forever.

However, the likely victor of this fight will be “The King’s Speech,” granted, a hearty contender which will most likely unplug the “Network” and send it on its merry way, cord between its legs, SAG awards in hand.

Best Director
In a completely uninteresting turn of events, it would appear the top two contenders in this battle – drum roll please – are David Fincher of “The Social Network” and Tom Hooper of “The King’s Speech” (insert riotous applause.) It is probably safe to say whoever doesn’t take home the little gold man for Best Picture will take this one. My bet is on Fincher, given his veteran director status, but I would still keep an eye out for Hooper as the dark horse.

Best Actor
Sorry kids, but this one isn’t really going to be much of a fight. As much as I love Jesse Eisenberg and the child-like naivete that just makes you want to corrupt him, this one will, rightly so, go to Colin Firth in “The King’s Speech.” In fact, I’m going to go out on a limb and say any man who can rock a stammer and look that good should probably get an award.

Best Actress
This may be an instance where the Academy’s biases may come in to play. Granted, Natalie Portman is generally,a moderate to good actress, and her performance in “Black Swan” is better than usual. But if she wins this category this weekend, I would venture to say it will have more to do with her pregnancy, new engagement and all those warm fuzzies this win will create for her and her fans than any superior acting.

Best Supporting Actor
Christian Bale for “The Fighter.” I don’t think I really need to say anything else, other than giving this to anyone else would cause me to truly lose all faith in any democratic voting institution. So for America’s sake, he better win.

Best Supporting Actress
The entire purpose of a supporting actor or actress is to help set the scene and guide the main characters. While watching “The Fighter,” I don’t think I could have gotten a better picture of what stereotypical white trash America looks like than when Melissa Leo led her barrage of daughters up to her son’s girlfriend’s door for a brawl. And I’m no amateur at judging stereotypical white trash America (I’m from Pekin.) If Leo doesn’t take this one home, up-and-comer Hailee Steinfeld (“True Grit”) will. But if I were little, unassuming Steinfeld, I wouldn’t want a boxing mom like Leo on my bad side (I’m just assuming that’s more bad-ass than a soccer mom.)