As many college students embark on their journey of self-identification, one thing is certain: it’s hard. Really hard.
For most people, college is the initial exposure to independence as you adopt more personal responsibility. But freedom can be a cage, if not for ambition. Without an idea of who you are or where you want to be, this newfound independence is daunting. But it doesn’t have to be. Self-discovery is a gift earned only through authenticity.
I’m from Southwest Alief, Texas, a low-income suburb in Houston that is notoriously diverse. You can look anywhere and find a taste of Vietnam, Nigeria, El Salvador or Pakistan, all on the same street. One thing Alief didn’t have was white people. In a graduating class of 835 people, there were fewer than 10 white students. With Latinos, immigrants and low-income families everywhere, there was never a moment where I felt out of place. This was home.
I am the first person in my family to go to college. No one warned me about how isolating the cultural shock can be. Ten white people became two thousand. I knew it would be important to stay grounded in my Latinx identity, so I surrounded myself with other Central American or Mexican students. But even this felt isolating.
Unlike many of my peers, I am agender, meaning I do not identify with any particular gender identity. This concept is relatively unheard of in the Latinx community, especially among older generations. College gave me the opportunity to embrace this aspect of my being without worrying about the repercussions. Yet still, after much misgendering and implicit pressure to adhere to the binary, authentically embracing my queerness became increasingly difficult.
Life offered me a choice: sacrifice an essential aspect of myself for the sake of fitting in, or sacrifice a group of friends for the sake of maintaining my authentic self. The choice was easy, and I picked myself.
In life, one should never feel the need to trade their individuality for perceived social benefits like acceptance. Remember this as you continue your journey in college and life. This is especially important for those who are a part of marginalized groups. Do not compromise yourself.
Wave that flag, be it of your country or identity. Correct people when they use the incorrect pronouns. Call people out on their ignorance and, perhaps more importantly, be prepared to call yourself out, too.
You will certainly encounter people who, whether intentional or not, pressure you to fit a description. In that moment, do not forget to be unapologetically yourself. No one else will do it for you. Do not feel embarrassed of your roots, beliefs or values. Rather, take pride in them. After all, they are what make you, you.
