It’s a very liberating feeling to not care about what others think of your appearance; to simply wake up in the morning and go to school or work without needing to check the mirror and create a whole routine in order to feel presentable. I have strived for this feeling since middle school.
I take pride in not waxing or plucking my eyebrows, not wearing makeup or the most expensive brands. I don’t dye, straighten or curl my hair. I shower for cleanliness, not using specific shampoos or lotions to enhance my appearance. I exercise for my health, not to attain a certain weight.
I support women (and everyone else, for that matter) on all notches of the spectrum. To the women who wear makeup and style their hair: if you’re doing it for you, I support your choices. To the women who don’t shave their armpits and legs: if you’re doing it for you, I support your choices. And honestly, if I didn’t love the feeling of smooth skin so much, I’d probably join you.
However, an upsetting event occurred last month that made me question my confidence. At the first Late Night BU of the year, there were trampolines for students. I love activities like these and convinced my friends to get in line with me.
As we were waiting, the man controlling the trampolines announced the maximum weight for jumping on the trampoline. Although I’m 60 pounds under the limit, he pulled me out of line to step on a scale. When I gave in and weighed myself, he commented that he was surprised that I weighed so little due to my large hips. I felt so humiliated to be singled out in front of my friends that I couldn’t even enjoy the trampoline.
I’m sure there are plenty of beautiful Bradley students who do weigh the limit and they shouldn’t be singled out either. My preference would be to only have activities that include everyone, or to privately weigh every person in line for ones requiring a certain weight.
I spent the rest of the night resenting my hips, and more importantly, resenting myself for allowing this stranger’s opinion to affect me so much. When my friend asked what was the matter, she was furious for me. I didn’t want to tell anyone else because I didn’t want to think about it anymore, but my friend pointed out that this man could’ve done the same thing to brand new students or people with a history of eating disorders. After she put it in that light, I realized that she was right and I didn’t want anyone else to feel the same way or worse. We told a Late Night BU coordinator, who was very apologetic and assured us that she would talk to the student that hires the entertainment.
The point is to be comfortable with how you look and not care what others think. It doesn’t matter if your comfort includes makeup, hair removal, brand clothing, etc. The Late Night BU incident reminded me that the way others see me shouldn’t reflect how I see myself.
I felt grateful for my friend for sticking up for me, and allowing me to stick up for others. One of my favorite quotes is, “be the woman who fixes another woman’s crown, without telling the world it was crooked.” We’re all works in progress when it comes to confidence, and I wish you all the ability to love how you look, always.
