Dolphins
The “Suck for Luck” campaign is in full swing in Miami, and the mantra in most of south Florida seems to be “Why the heck not?”
After being spoiled by the Heat, Miami has become restless with the Dolphins and wants nothing more than its team to suck just enough to be able to draft Andrew Luck: the “savior of football.”
Since Bill Parcells left the team in shambles and with no clear future, the Dolphins are in need of a savior.
Yes, they have a darn good offensive line and a good kicker, but I’ve never seen a team kick and block their way to a Super Bowl.
Their big off-season acquisition was trading for Reggie Bush, and if both the New Orleans Saints and Kim Kardashian turn someone down, that’s a pretty good sign they aren’t good.
Their defense also has a knack for ultra-bland football and can’t get opponents off the field.
Yes, they tackle and defensive end Cameron Wake will soon be the preeminent pass rusher in the league, but they have the fewest interceptions in the league.
In a league that has transitioned into a passing league over the past decade, you can’t go far with a team that can’t pass or stop the pass.
The Dolphins are the worst team in football.
-Zach Berg
Colts
The worst team in the NFL this season has been one of the best in this decade. The Indianapolis Colts at 0-7 are easily the worst team in football.
It’s hard to believe a team that has been to the playoffs for nine consecutive years could be this bad without franchise quarterback Peyton Manning.
Sunday night’s 62-7 beat-down at the hands of the New Orleans Saints proved just how far the Colts have fallen.
Quarterback Drew Brees and the Saints offense did whatever it wanted. They ran and threw the ball at will. The Colts defense, which may be the worst in the NFL, was overmatched.
Indianapolis has given up more points than any other team this season, while giving up the third most yards.
On offense, they rank 29th in points scored out of all 32 teams.
It’s cliché to say the stats don’t lie, but in this case it couldn’t be more true.
The Colts are bad on offense and even worse on defense.
Five years of average drafting has left the Colts with no young talent and aging veterans who are a shell of their former selves. Not even Manning could save this team.
As a Colts fan, this year has been more painful than I could have ever imagined. Consider me on the “Suck for Luck” bandwagon.
-Alex Ross
