Everyone dreams of their perfect first date.
They pull up to your house in their parents’ Camry and quickly rush to the front door. After dinner and a movie, they hurry back to give themselves enough time for a goodnight kiss before someone in your family opens the door on an awkward situation. Next thing you know, you’re dancing around your bedroom, begging for Monday morning to come so you can see them at school.
But what if their car was replaced with a $375 plane ticket? What if your houses were 763.52 miles apart? What if your goodbye wasn’t a kiss at the door, but tears streaking down your face as you realize you won’t see them for a whole month? Would it still be worth it?
Year after year, graduating high school couples are posed with the question “should we try long distance?” While some choose to go their separate ways, others opt to brave the world of unknowns and no guarantees that comes with heading off to different universities.
Once you take the daring plunge, filled with the desire to understand, the desperation of phone calls and the power behind simple phrases such as “How are you?,” you begin to learn the truth behind long distance relationships.
You realize that there is a difference between talking and communicating. There’s a time for jokes and stories about your math professor, but there’s also a time to discuss the harsh realities of being apart.
You recognize the need to appreciate every hug and hand hold because who knows when the next one will be? Taking inventory of every scar and freckle feels almost like second nature. Memorizing the way their eyes crease when they laugh and how they slightly lift their shoulders when they’re frustrated becomes a habit.
You learn how to value your time together. You love every second with them, and you begin to cherish even the smallest moments. You realize the goodbyes are one step closer to being together again, despite the heartache they carry.
But I’m not going to sugar coat it. A long distance relationship hurts like hell.
It’s filled with nights plagued by jealousy and overthinking. You wonder if they’ve found someone new, someone better, someone closer. You rack your brain trying to understand the inner workings of their mind and you can easily begin to lose any form of sanity you have left at 3:30 a.m. It leaves you wondering, is it worth it?
Committing to a relationship like this is painful beyond the imagination, and it’s not because the other person is hurting you. The pain comes from missing them so much that it no longer can be contained in a small crevice of your heart.
But somehow, there’s also the joy in staying on the phone for 30 seconds even though that’s all the time you have, or smiling like an idiot when their name pops up on your phone screen. It’s dancing around your room like you’re 12 again. It’s the feeling when your heart leaps because you remember how lucky you are to be the person that loves them.
Love can hurt, but at the same time it is kind and gentle. It surpasses any time restraints or distance because your hearts will always be together. No matter what.
So, is it worth it?
