Press "Enter" to skip to content

Don’t lose your head: How to survive a scary movie

Graphic by Audrey Garcia

A hallmark of any scary movie marathon is ridiculing the doomed characters that obviously won’t survive past the first five minutes.

When watching, it is easy for viewers to think that they would never fall victim to a masked maniac or supernatural entity. That begs the question, what does it take to survive a horror movie? Here are some foolproof ways to make it out alive, should you find yourself in such a harrowing situation.

Don’t split up

Everyone knows that as soon as the cast splits up, heads are going to roll. Some characters believe splitting up will cover more ground or increase their chances of survival. However, the opposite is true in most cases.

When groups disperse, it becomes much easier for the killer to pick them off one by one without anyone around to interfere. Even worse, characters often get sidetracked from escaping when they realize someone has been left behind. Sticking together is the better option because there is strength in numbers and the killer likely can’t fight everyone at once.

Don’t search for the source of the noise

Many characters fall victim to their curiosity. Don’t be one of those people.

The moment you hear a door slam, rustling in the basement or footsteps upstairs, don’t breathe and don’t think – run. There is no reason why you should stick around to find out who or what is lurking in the shadows. It never ends well.

Don’t stay in remote locations

Nothing good comes from vacationing in an isolated area. There is nothing wise or enjoyable about partying in a town without a police station and no neighbors for miles.

Nobody will hear you if you scream and there’s nowhere to run if your tires get slashed. If you decide to run, it will likely be into the woods. At that point, you’ll inevitably glance over your shoulder and trip over a tree branch or step on a pile of crunchy leaves, giving away your hiding spot. It’s a lose-lose situation.

Double tap 

The most important piece of advice on this list is provided by the character Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg) from the “Zombieland” series. Imagine you’re facing off against the antagonist and you’ve finally gained the upper hand with a deadly weapon at the ready. What’s your next move?

If your answer is to hit them and run, you may want to rethink that decision. The worst thing you can do is only strike once. There is no way a knife-wielding killer is down for the count after a single blow and before you know it, they’re popping back up to finish you off. Do yourself a favor and double tap.

Copyright © 2023, The Scout, Bradley University. All rights reserved.
The Scout is published by members of the student body of Bradley University. Opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect those of the University.