The Recorder
BY LISA STEMMONS
As much as I would like to believe the government was preparing us for some ominous task, the fact we all learned to play the recorder in grade school was pretty pointless.
It gave our parents a reason to take a long lunch break and snap pictures of their adorable children before puberty took over. It may have also been seen as a confidence-builder for our young minds, making us feel as if we accomplished something special.
But when it’s all said and done, knowing how to play “Hot Cross Buns” on the recorder is not exactly a resume builder.
It also isn’t comparable to learning other musical instruments. Technically, you can play the recorder without knowing how to read music. Unlike other instruments that allow room for growth and a chance to progressively become more talented, there is only one level of achievement when it comes to covering holes with your fingers.
It’s a step up from the triangle, but I think music teachers nationwide should raise the bar even higher for the new generation of rascals coming through. If you are going to take the time to learn a skill, it might as well be impressive.
Tamagotchi pets
BY JAYLYN COOK
In my 22 years of life, I’ve only had two pets: a bloated, lazy goldfish named Goldie (R.I.P. Fam) and a Tamagotchi knock-off that housed a Pikachu. If your parents, like mine, weren’t really fans of having living, breathing animals running around the house, a Tamagotchi was … kind of an OK alternative.
You had to do all the stuff that comes with caring for an actual pet like feeding it, giving it attention, naming it, etc. Unlike a real pet, you had to keep tabs on the egg at all times or else the pet would die or leave you due to your neglect.
This resulted in Tamagotchi eggs being banned from schools across the country due to kids constantly bringing them to class and being disruptive. I can’t recall how many times my friends and I got busted for trying to take care of our pets instead of paying attention during math.
Was trying to appease a digital pet worth all of the warnings, confiscations and detentions given back then? Of course it was! After all, if you can’t have a real pet, might as well do the best with what you’ve got.
However, it would have been more worth it if my Pikachu would have accepted my attempts to love him and stopped leaving me at the end of each day. Jerk.
