Without fail, I can scroll on social media and find a “Someone boo me up so they can get me (x) for Valentines Day! Take me to (x)!” We idolize these “relationship goals” because it’s what we’ve been taught by social media. Without them, we’re convinced we’ll just have an incomplete relationship.
Now if you’re one that loves these sort of posts, don’t worry, those gifts became popular for a reason. I’ve fallen in love with those cute videos too. But if we don’t live that fantasy, does that mean the relationship is worth nothing?
Now it’s a bit cliche to say, but for Valentine’s Day, it really is the thought that counts. Sure, you may not get that oversized teddy bear with a box of fancy roses, but what did your significant other do instead?
Before starting my first serious relationship, I wanted all of these gifts that other girls were getting on social media. I wanted the horse drawn carriage that takes me to a fancy restaurant just like in the movies. When you are in a real relationship though, those aren’t the things you really appreciate.
My boyfriend likes to have unique ideas for his gifts. Sometimes, it takes longer than expected to have those gifts delivered or have the means to complete his project. On the first Valentine’s Day we celebrated together, we actually had to wait a few days after the holiday before exchanging gifts. Not only that, but setting a time to meet was proving to be harder than we thought thanks to our busy lives. My first relationship and I was going to ditch my boyfriend on Valentine’s Day? I felt like this was already disastrous.
Traditionally, it seems this would really make or break a relationship on Valentine’s Day. I was frustrated. The fantasy in my head wasn’t going to play out like I hoped. We had to come up with a better plan instead.
Luckily, my boyfriend and I were honest about the gift giving situation and that made it easier to cope. We might not be able to celebrate like everyone else, but that doesn’t mean we have to consider our relationship ruined. We love each other 24/7, not just on Feb. 14.
When we did celebrate together, things went much more according to plan. Honestly, things could have gone much worse. I’d rather wait to get the gift that I know took a lot of time versus having something that was rushed and hasty.
Truly, what I think can make an amazing Valentine’s Day is if you plan the day together. Yes! Communication! When you say, “I don’t want anything” that just puts pressure as well as missing details. Things can just spiral out of control easily.
You get a German Shepard instead of a Munchkin cat. You eat at a celebrity restaurant as opposed to your favorite hole-in-the-wall Thai place. Finally, you expect a big proposal and then you don’t get one like you had hoped. This could have been avoided if you had just said something other than, “I don’t want anything.”
No one is a mind reader, so don’t take bad gifts and dates too seriously. In fact, people should just admit they don’t like something and laugh it off. It might hurt your partner, but let them know that you appreciate the effort they put into your gift.
I think unplanned moments, especially on Valentine’s Day, actually have strengthened my relationship. My significant other and I are open to compromise because a single day doesn’t define who we are as a couple.
After all, everyone should show their love to their partner all year round, not just one day.
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Every year, we publish a Valentine’s Day edition of our Voice section in order to bring the spirit of love to campus. We’re excited to bring you a number of articles (some serious, some satirical) dedicated to sex, relationships, the history of Valentine’s Day and more.
Should you plan to celebrate this day of romance with someone, be sure to stay safe and practice healthy sexual habits – and if you’re planning on cuddling up alone or with friends to watch movies and eat discount chocolates, that works perfectly, too. Whatever you decide to do, be sure to have fun.
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