- Roses – I know, I know – roses are beautiful and smell awesome. They’re a staple of romance, but if you really think about it, getting roses from your significant other just proves they don’t care about you. You don’t believe me? Roses die. Do you really want the symbol of your love to be something that’ll be dead in a week? No, you don’t.
- Chocolates – Fun fact: you can buy chocolates year-round. Nothing says love like getting a gift that could have been bought at any other time but was only bought because of the obligation of a romantic holiday. Way to get a gift that has no meaning.
- A store-bought card – Your significant other could not even put forth the effort to hand-make a card for you. They went to the store and happened upon a card with a generic phrase that was probably purchased by millions of other people who also don’t care about their relationships. You deserve better.
- Perfume/Cologne – I’m going to be honest with you because your significant other obviously won’t be. Whenever someone buys another person a gift that involves personal hygiene, it’s a gift for them, not you. You think they’re sweet? They just want you to smell better.
- Jewelry/Watch – At first, this may seem like a foolproof gift, but when your significant other buys you an accessory, think about how it looks. This gift is just a big ol’ sign on you to show people how much your significant other “cares,” which is really just about how much they spent. It may seem farfetched, but think about it the next time someone asks where you got your heart-shaped necklace or your shiny watch.
- Handmade coupons – You can pretend that the person you love actually cares about you enough to make a personalized book of cute coupons when, in reality, they procrastinated buying you an actual gift. Just remember the flimsy pieces of construction paper hastily stapled together are a symbol of the love your significant other feels for you.
- Candy hearts – Instead of chewing on these, why don’t you try chewing on some chalk or a piece of garbage? That would be the equivalent of eating these tiny life-ruiners. If someone gave me these as a gift, I would assume they hate me. See candy hearts for what they truly are – a sign that your significant other wants you to suffer. Don’t be a person who accepts candy hearts as anything other than a break-up.
- Clothes – Everyone knows that when you get clothes from someone else, there’s a high chance the clothes are something you would never actually wear yourself –k.a. hideous. Do yourself a favor and have some respect for yourself. Don’t degrade your fashion sense for the sake of your lover. Everyone will end up unhappy, especially you.
To sum it up, the only real gift is money. If you’re looking for advice on what to get your significant other, get them money, and they can buy things they actually want. You’re welcome.
