Details of Willy’s Chocolate Experience put on by House of Illuminati hit the public this past week and have left sides split.
The event was scheduled for Feb. 24-25 in Glasgow, Scotland, but never saw a second day due to a great number of disappointed guests.
Promotional materials showcased three magically sweet zones, each capturing a different candy-filled dream. The issue? These images were all generated by artificial intelligence.
Organizers also used AI to create the main flier for the event. Guests were promised “encherining entertainment” that would have audiences “catcagating” over the “live perfornmances and cartchy tuns.” There were supposed to be “exarserdray lollipops” as well, creating “a pasadise of sweet treats.”
Unfortunately, none of this was true because it was all AI gibberish.
If the flier didn’t sound the alarm then the £35, or approximately $40, price tag should have. Alas, guests were not dissuaded, as 850 tickets were sold.
Once inside the warehouse, customers were greeted with a genuinely tragic scene where the incredible candy lands should have been. Tapestries stood in as photo-ops where beautiful props were supposed to be. The play tunnels were cheap constructs covered in what looked like shower curtains.
Mr. Krabs’ Krabby Land from “SpongeBob SquarePants” is a fair comparison to this sad attraction. The scene was desolate, except for the few token actors.
The poor, poor woman playing the Oompa Loompa has been screencapped and memed to the moon and back. She doesn’t deserve it, but the circumstances did her no favors. The thousand-yard stare into a chemistry set that looks hand-designed by Walter White is a valid representation of the whole experience.
The actor who played Willy Wonka dropped major bombs in a viral video, primarily noting that their scripts were delivered the night before the show and contained more AI-generated gargle. Actors were also relegated to giving the visitors one jellybean and a quarter cup of lemonade—just what you want at a chocolate factory.
Perhaps the star of the show, The Unknown captured the attention of everyone—mostly because no one had ever heard of it before. While many adults viewed it as a bootleg-Spirit-Halloween-looking goofball, many kids were left horrified and crying. Yeah, that’s exactly what should happen at an attraction aimed towards kids.
As expected, the police were called throughout the day as visitors demanded refunds, which House of Illuminati fulfilled.
The creator of Willy’s Chocolate Experience issued an apology and said their “… vision of the artistic rendition of a well-known book didn’t come to fruition.”
What? There weren’t any real ideas to begin with.
Despite all the drama, we gained something here. Kaledonia Pictures announced a new upcoming project called “The Unknown” on Monday. That’s right, The Unknown is getting an entire movie. Briefly, it’s about a family who is moving to the Scottish Highlands to escape the death of their son Charlie.
The movie is set to debut later this year, so no promises on quality, but it has to be of a higher caliber than Willy’s Chocolate Experience.
