With tomorrow being Valentine’s Day, thousands of moviegoers across the country will make their way to the silver screen for that perfect (cliché) date with their significant others. No doubt many of these folks will be seeing the anticipated movie adaptation of E.L. James’s “Fifty Shades of Grey,” hoping to get some ideas for later in the night.
I am not one to throw a book or movie under the bus for bad writing, acting or plot; there are plenty of people who completely overlook those kinds of inadequacies, and I applaud those folks. However, I am one to make sure that readers and moviegoers alike are aware that what they’re reading or viewing could be potentially harmful, even in how it might create assumptions.
“Fifty Shades” is, essentially, a book about bondage, dominance and sado-masochism, or BDSM for short. The problem with the book (and likely the movie) is that it does not correctly depict this kind of relationship.
The BDSM community, much to many “vanilla” folks’ surprise, cares first and foremost about safety, sanity and consent when it comes to this taboo topic. I know it’s hard to imagine that someone with a riding crop, nipple-clamps and rope for days would care about safety, but that’s one of the biggest concerns when it comes to this kinky play.
The use of safe words and constant communication is what keeps this community strong. This is not truly present in “Fifty Shades,” as lead Christian Grey deliberately ignores his partner Anastasia Steele’s use of a safe word in one scene.
The fact that Grey pushes Steele into these intense sexual situations, despite her complete lack of sexual know-how, is another alarming example of how safety doesn’t seem to be a main concern of this book. Not to mention, the use of alcohol and manipulation of one’s emotions is not by any means the way to gain consent.
I’m not telling you to refrain from seeing the film, I’m simply doing my duty to make sure that you are aware that this is by no means an accurate portrayal of a real, healthy BDSM relationship.
If monetarily supporting a film that glorifies an abusive relationship isn’t your thing but you still want to see what the hype is about, you can thank your lucky stars for the Internet and torrenting sites.
