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Bradley University to make dining dollars a cryptocurrency

Graphic by Kyle St. John

Note: This article is a part of the April Fools’ Day edition, The Scoop, and is not meant to be taken seriously.

With all of the buzz and conversation around Web3, the metaverse, NFTs and the crypto space as a whole, it was only a matter of time before Bradley University stepped into the ring and created its own cryptocurrency.

President Stevie Standistand has recently announced that both Dining Dollars and Quick Cash will be transitioning into cryptocurrencies for this upcoming semester.

The value of the currency, titled BradleyCoin (BUC), will fluctuate based on the amount of food being bought on campus. Additionally, students will be able to gain additional BUC by contributing to the blockchain and mining with their laptops.

When questioned about this change, Bradley CFO Sharon Moore-Cash stated, “Cryptocurrency is the next evolution in money. Making Dining Dollars into a cryptocurrency is an obvious step to keep Bradley University at the forefront of technology.”

The decision comes after a study showed that more and more students have a large amount of leftover Dining Dollars and Quick Cash in their accounts when the allotted semester is over, as well as the frequent and nonstop requests for such a change from one very determined business major. 

“Stonks,” Mike Hunt said, “BU Coin to the mooooooooooon.”

This change should hopefully provide encouragement for students to use their meal plan money for more than just food, but also engage in the crypto market in a way never seen before on campus.

In the past, students would simply use their meal plans to purchase food on and off campus. With the new cryptocurrency, students will be able to transfer and convert their funds into any of the other various cryptocurrencies on the market (although they will not be able to transfer them back into USD, following a clause that comes from the Bradley University meal plans). 

“Eating food is boring anyways. I personally would willingly throw away my ability to eat food if it meant earning an extra $5 on the digital marketplace,” said Kenny Lingis, sophomore business and oral communications major.

This change calls into question a number of possibilities of what students might  do with such an entry point into the crypto space, whether it be creating their own personalized cryptocurrencies, minting and selling special Kaboom! NFTs for thousands of dollars or even just testing their luck and transferring all their meal plan money into Dogecoin and hoping for the best. 

If one thing is for sure, it’s that this change will definitely go over well with the Bradley student body, which has never once had a history of aggravation or discontent towards cryptocurrencies of any kind.

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