With about 19 years of trick-or-treating or candy distribution under my belt, I can attest that not all candies are created equal. Some candy is given out with the children’s best interests in mind, some with their health in mind and – perhaps the worst – some with the giver’s wallet in mind.
I ranked the top-eight worst candies to be given out on Halloween based on personal experience. Let the cringe begin.
- Butterscotch
Possibly the worst candy of all time, butterscotch is no one’s favorite candy unless they are 80 years old. Sure, they don’t taste awful or anything, but don’t expect anyone to trade a pink Starburst for a million-year-old butterscotch.
- Gum
Yes, we’re looking at you specifically, Dubble Bubble. The overly sweet taste of this gum quickly turns into a tasteless wad you’re stuck chewing hours later.
- Tootsie Roll
These candies have never done it for me. Tootsie Rolls are the half-cousin of chocolate: It resembles chocolate and has a synthetic-chocolatey taste, but it just feels wrong. I used to hoard them to give to my grandpa as a kid.
- Bit-o-Honey
Most commonly described as a “20-minute chew-a-thon,” I could not put the experience of eating this candy in better words. Not to mention the fact that they seem to go stale overnight, making the attempt at chewing them even more uncomfortable.
- Dots
Dots are your fillings’ worst nightmare. They attach onto your teeth for dear life and almost guarantee cavities if you don’t brush immediately after consumption.
- Now and Later
Something tells me people just save these candies year after year, letting the wrapper and candy evolve into one being. Despite its deliciousness, trying to peel the wrapper off cleanly is an impossible feat. Plus, Now and Laters are just wannabe Starbursts.
- Raisins/pretzels/non-candy
What’s worse than receiving bad candy? Receiving no candy at all. Whether it be a bag of pretzels, some Sun-Maid raisins or a toothbrush, anything non-candy is sure to turn that smile into a frown. Just give the children their sugar! We’re talking to you, health nuts and dentists.
- Atomic Warheads
I don’t care what anyone says. These sour candies from hell are the most unenjoyable trick-or-treat gift in the world – they are pure pain and torture and encourage early exposure to peer pressure. The weird kid on the block ends up trying to put 20 in his mouth for as long as possible without crying or spewing them everywhere.
