Frank Sinatra’s music played in the student center executive suite as students indulged in croissants and tea. On Monday, the Epsilon Alpha chapter of Sigma
Williams Dining Hall shut down on Oct. 18 for renovations, leaving Geisert Dining Hall as the sole campus location taking meal swipes until construction is
Being aromantic is a spectrum. Some people experience no romantic attraction whatsoever, while others only experience it when certain requirements are met. Either way, it’s difficult to celebrate a holiday dedicated to romance when everyone else seems to experience it differently than you do.
Even for those not on the aromantic spectrum, Valentine’s Day can feel like a capitalistic slog. Really, why does everything in February have to be red, pink and heart-shaped? Do you need to buy flowers and chocolates just to show someone you care about them?
If you’re anything like me and thought that Bo Burnham saying, “If you want love, just pick a girl and love her” was genuinely how crushes worked, Valentine’s Day might go as far as feeling horrid.
After all, it’s a holiday that puts romantic love on a pedestal. Sure, you can argue Thanksgiving or even “Galentine’s Day” is supposed to fill the platonic appreciation void, but Galentine’s Day doesn’t fill the shelves, and anything Thanksgiving-themed at Walmart is almost certainly not dedicated to the ‘thanks’ in its name.
Maybe Valentine’s Day wouldn’t be that bad if only one aspect of Western culture enforced this romantic over platonic mindset, but there’s so much more. Even platonic terms are named after romantic ones. Hanging out with friends is a “playdate” and the relationship between two male best friends is often called a “bromance.”
In a world where romantic love is valued so much more than platonic, how can the day that embodies that standard not be isolating for aromantics? It spurs this giant swirl of questions: “Will my friends ever love me as much as they love their romantic partners?” “Am I incapable of love?” “Is there something wrong with me?”
Of course, the answers to these questions are “If you find the right people,” “Probably not, and if you are, that’s okay” and “Absolutely, but it’s certainly not related to your sexuality,” respectively. Still, it’s concerning that a holiday brings up these questions at all. Instead, for my fellow isolated aromantics, let’s ask a question we can control the answer to: what do we do?
Above all else, while cliché, it’s important to take care of yourself. Eat some food, take a shower or put on a funny outfit – just try not fall to the dreadful grasp of a commercialized holiday. Do whatever is needed to get through this, whether that is reaching out to friends and family or self-isolating until the holiday is over.
If platonic love can be just as powerful as romantic love, so can self-love. Self-worth is not defined by other people’s love, so take the time to prove it.
Secondly, if corporations are trying to take advantage of your love, take advantage of those corporations. Get those heavily discounted chocolates after the holiday ends. Take those free items people randomly pass out on Valentine’s Day. Just because you’re not participating in the holiday conventionally doesn’t mean you don’t get to participate at all.
Valentine’s Day can trigger feelings of shame and isolation, so for the aromantics out there, you’re not broken. You don’t need to be fixed. Your love is not inadequate.
We want to let you know that we use cookies to ensure that we give you the best experience on our website. If you continue to use this site we will assume that you are okay with it.
Gunhild Carling takes the stage for Bradley’s Jazz Festival
The Dingledine Music Center was packed to the brim with what Todd Kelly, Bradley’s music department chair, described as “the best crowd in years” on
Column: This isn’t an underdog story
My feet ache from marching all day, and it’s unbearably hot. All the other kids around me reek of sweat, and I’m sure I smell
Spanish Club helps students craft up some love this Valentine’s
In this day and age, buying a gift from the store for Valentine’s Day can seem like the obvious solution, so a little bit of
New club helps students figure out their game plan for the year
New Year’s resolutions are hard, and it’s difficult to have the motivation to exercise in the typical bleak winter weather. This is why the new
Tea parties are for college students, too
Frank Sinatra’s music played in the student center executive suite as students indulged in croissants and tea. On Monday, the Epsilon Alpha chapter of Sigma
Students and staff forced to adapt to influx of students at Geisert Dining Hall
Williams Dining Hall shut down on Oct. 18 for renovations, leaving Geisert Dining Hall as the sole campus location taking meal swipes until construction is
Column: I want to play video games like boys can
“Aren’t you a little young to be playing this game?” It’s the question I’m pestered with every time I bother to use a microphone for
Negotiating the isolating atmosphere of Valentine’s Day as an aromatic
Being aromantic is a spectrum. Some people experience no romantic attraction whatsoever, while others only experience it when certain requirements are met. Either way, it’s difficult to celebrate a holiday dedicated to romance when everyone else seems to experience it differently than you do.
Even for those not on the aromantic spectrum, Valentine’s Day can feel like a capitalistic slog. Really, why does everything in February have to be red, pink and heart-shaped? Do you need to buy flowers and chocolates just to show someone you care about them?
If you’re anything like me and thought that Bo Burnham saying, “If you want love, just pick a girl and love her” was genuinely how crushes worked, Valentine’s Day might go as far as feeling horrid.
After all, it’s a holiday that puts romantic love on a pedestal. Sure, you can argue Thanksgiving or even “Galentine’s Day” is supposed to fill the platonic appreciation void, but Galentine’s Day doesn’t fill the shelves, and anything Thanksgiving-themed at Walmart is almost certainly not dedicated to the ‘thanks’ in its name.
Maybe Valentine’s Day wouldn’t be that bad if only one aspect of Western culture enforced this romantic over platonic mindset, but there’s so much more. Even platonic terms are named after romantic ones. Hanging out with friends is a “playdate” and the relationship between two male best friends is often called a “bromance.”
In a world where romantic love is valued so much more than platonic, how can the day that embodies that standard not be isolating for aromantics? It spurs this giant swirl of questions: “Will my friends ever love me as much as they love their romantic partners?” “Am I incapable of love?” “Is there something wrong with me?”
Of course, the answers to these questions are “If you find the right people,” “Probably not, and if you are, that’s okay” and “Absolutely, but it’s certainly not related to your sexuality,” respectively. Still, it’s concerning that a holiday brings up these questions at all. Instead, for my fellow isolated aromantics, let’s ask a question we can control the answer to: what do we do?
Above all else, while cliché, it’s important to take care of yourself. Eat some food, take a shower or put on a funny outfit – just try not fall to the dreadful grasp of a commercialized holiday. Do whatever is needed to get through this, whether that is reaching out to friends and family or self-isolating until the holiday is over.
If platonic love can be just as powerful as romantic love, so can self-love. Self-worth is not defined by other people’s love, so take the time to prove it.
Secondly, if corporations are trying to take advantage of your love, take advantage of those corporations. Get those heavily discounted chocolates after the holiday ends. Take those free items people randomly pass out on Valentine’s Day. Just because you’re not participating in the holiday conventionally doesn’t mean you don’t get to participate at all.
Valentine’s Day can trigger feelings of shame and isolation, so for the aromantics out there, you’re not broken. You don’t need to be fixed. Your love is not inadequate.