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The 10 do’s and don’ts for surviving a horror movie

Truthfully, I’m not the biggest fan of horror films, but that doesn’t mean I don’t understand or appreciate their appeal. They can be entertaining, thrilling and in many cases, educational. If you were ever to find yourself in a situation similar to the plots of your favorite scary movies, here’s a helpful guide to ensure that you and your loved ones make it all the way to the end credits.

DO consult professionals for help (“The Exorcist”) – Sometimes, we need to be willing to take a step back and let someone else take the reins during difficult situations. Sure, it may cost us a pretty penny or a piece of our pride, but ultimately, exorcising a demon requires a level of skill that we can’t learn from WikiHow in a matter of minutes.

DON’T trust the cute guy/girl next door (“House at the End of the Street”) – They may have the eyes of an angel, but behind those eyes is a cold blooded killer.

DO be willing to improvise (“The Silence of the Lambs”) – Hannibal Lecter’s manipulative mindset, proficiency with weapons and ability to be quick on his feet is what got him out of his maximum security jail cell without detection. Let’s just hope that you’ll never have to wear someone else’s face as a disguise any time soon.

DON’T buy a demon-possessed car from a creepy old dude (“Christine”) – Everyone loves a good deal, but I think you’re better off taking the bus than buying a car that kills people during the night.

DO be kind to classmates that practice witchcraft (“Tamara”) – That way, you’ll be spared when they use their powers to exact revenge on those who laughed at them. The Golden Rule continues to be relevant in all situations.

DON’T be a celebrity (“Scream”) – Seriously, if you’re remotely famous, you might as well write up your will now, ‘cause you’re done for.

DO keep good company (“Dawn of the Dead”) – You’re not going to fight an entire horde of zombies alone, so surround yourself with a diverse group of survivors – especially if they know their way around a crossbow.

DON’T look into mirrors (“Oculus”) – No one wants to go out looking like a hot mess, but if your life’s on the line, enduring a bad hair day or two probably isn’t the worst thing that could happen.

DO take urban legends seriously (“Candyman”) – If old wives and gossipers claim that summoning a vengeful spirit will eventually lead to your death, it’s probably safe to assume they’re telling the truth.

DON’T take creepy little dolls home with you (“Child’s Play”) – You never know, it could carry the spirit of a notorious serial killer, and that’s probably not something covered in the extended warranty.

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