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Zombie Apocalypse Outbreak: Where would you hide on campus?

With 2020’s track record of surreal events, a zombie apocalypse isn’t too far-fetched. In considering your plan for survivability, the building you choose makes a huge difference. Assuming water and electricity remain on, where would you hide if half the campus population started craving brains? Although I should really keep my considerations under wraps for an advantage, I’ve decided to share my thoughts for the greater good:

Photo illustration by Haley Johnson

The BECC

Unless zombies have the ability to tap in through multiple checkpoints with their student IDs, the BECC might just be the most secure building on campus. The entry system that once seemed excessive and unnecessary suddenly makes sense in the apocalyptic landscape. Once you’re safe inside one of the classrooms, the large whiteboards are perfect for mapping out an elaborate attack plan. If you happened to pack your laptop while fleeing, you could make this plan into a full-blown Microsoft PowerPoint presentation to display on any of the hundreds of flat-screens. In terms of food, there are vending machines at every turn, so you wouldn’t have to go too long without hot Cheetos. Until the coffee beans run out, you can even maintain your caffeine addiction at Delawder’s Deli Coffee Shop.

Photo illustration by Haley Johnson

The Michel Student Center

Given the various food options in the student center, it makes sense that this will quickly become the most popular hideout spot. An apocalypse is a good excuse to live exclusively off of Chick-fil-A nuggets, right? With the majority of campus adopting this same mentality, the rations will run out quickly. Suddenly, you’ll find yourself eating a cup of Moe’s beans or one of those bagged hard-boiled eggs from the P.O.D. when the good stuff goes. The student center also lacks individualized spaces, and will likely result in a battle over the 10 meeting rooms in the basement. Unless you’re okay with playing out scenarios “Lord of the Flies”-style, the student center is a hard pass.

Photo illustration by Haley Johnson

Markin Family Recreation Center

It might just come down to physically fighting the zombies. Either that, or running away from them as fast as you can. For both the fight and flight scenarios, spending time in the gym is sure to increase your odds of survival. Let’s not forget the modest food options: Jerry’s Juice Bar and vending machine snacks. Bagel sandwiches aren’t really worth spending dining dollars on, but you’ll be happy to indulge under apocalyptic circumstances. Another incredible bonus in hiding here: the showers. Why should an apocalypse require you to lower your hygiene standards? While the fools setting up camp in other campus buildings will likely be sponge-bathing in bathroom sinks, you’ll be basking in subpar water pressure.

Photo illustration by Haley Johnson

The Cullom-Davis Library

There’s a high likelihood that BUsecure won’t survive the apocalypse; it barely survives regular semesters. At least by hiding out in the library, there are thousands of books you could read to kill the time. I’m sure there’s even a survival guide or two. Like Markin, the food options in the library are modest, maybe even a little worse. Stacks Cafe doesn’t offer many food options, but for those of us who couldn’t survive without caffeine, it does have what we consider “the necessities.” From a combat perspective, the second floor of the library is also a great vantage point of the campus; you can see most of Olin Quad. Check out the zombie situation happening over by Bradley Hall, and then swiftly continue reading your classic novel.

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