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The issue with ranch dressing

There’s nothing like a good salad. Colorful lettuce, fresh vegetables, crunchy croutons and the irresistible taste of ranch dressing. With a good salad, you really can’t go wrong.
Wait, I take that back. The food services on campus has managed to mess that part up.
During the week, my roommate and I bond over fabulous meals at the cafeterias. The daily hour or so that we spend eating together is filled with deep conversation and laughter.
Unfortunately, a black cloud has recently surfaced over our fun and light-hearted meal-time experiences.
Last week the cafeterias and Center Court replaced the usual container of ranch dressing with something new: a large light blue pump of Heinz ranch dressing.
This new change is simply not OK.
You see, my roommate is obsessed with ranch dressing. She eats it with everything, from mashed potatoes to chicken nuggets. Whatever it is she is eating, ranch dressing has a spot on her plate. She loves it so much that last semester she kept a bottle of her favorite ranch dressing from a restaurant back home in her fridge.
The creamy dressing means a lot to my roommate, therefore she is very picky. She preferred the ranch dressing Williams used to serve, and a lot of times when we couldn’t decide where to eat, Williams was where we went because of the dressing.
On the days that the dressing tastes the best it makes her day, it literally makes her a happier person. I really wasn’t kidding when I said she loved ranch dressing.
It’s this new blue pump that has been causing some problems.
Since the introduction of the new dressing, every meal we eat together is plagued with derogatory comments made toward that stupid blue pump. Each meal is underlined with disappointment and pouting mixed with her refusal to never eat a salad ever again.
Her anger toward that pathetic plastic blue pump is becoming humorous.
I love her to death, don’t get me wrong, but I can’t help laugh when she comes back to the table all in a huff because of the dressing. I’d be a millionaire if I received a quarter for every time she said “This ranch is disgusting.”
Before last week I had no idea how much a condiment could change someone’s mood.
Needless to say, this new dressing is bad news bears, not just for my crazy roommate but for all dressing and salad lovers. The Heinz version of ranch is super thick, unappealing to the eye and lacking in flavor.
I guess I can’t really blame her though, her particular taste for ranch dressing is comparable to my ketchup needs. I’m that girl who can only eat Heinz ketchup. I know the difference between Heinz and the generic kinds of the condiment.
If they switched the Heinz ketchup for something not as delicious, I would be just as upset as my roommate, if not more.
I understand that food services on campus is more interested in the most cost-efficient and convenient ways to serve students condiments and these Heinz bottles are making things a lot easier. Not only does is the big pump bottle create less mess, but it holds a lot of dressing which means that they don’t need to constantly be refilling a small bowl.
But what about the quality? Shouldn’t that matter just as much?
I choose Bradley for it’s quality in all areas the campus has to offer, and I’m pretty sure my roommate did too. I feel like my parents and I are spending a good amount of money for me to go to school here and to eat on campus.
Is it too much for me to ask for decent quality ranch dressing?
All I’m asking is that the food services on campus change back to the old ranch dressing, then maybe I would get my roommate back.
Madeline Gregory is a freshman journalism major from Downers Grove. She is the Scout assistant copy editor.
Direct questions, comments and other responses to mmgregory@mail.bradley.edu.