Buzzkill: Alice In Wonderland edition

The newest iteration of “Alice In Wonderland” was made by a focus group that had to decide how to make a film that would perfectly not appeal to me.
It’s based on a book I love. Wait, no it’s not. This version of “Alice in Wonderland” is a sequel to the original story. Wait, no it’s not. The sequel to the original “Alice in Wonderland” is “Through the Looking Glass.” So this is the sequel to a movie based on a book, however it is an alternative sequel that has no connection to the actual sequel.
It also stars Johnny Depp, one of the least interesting actors working today. Depp has made a career out of embracing childhood whimsy and throwing a little Hot Topic-ready goth style under it. His work is boring, predictable and done to death.
Other than “Beetlejuice” and “Batman Returns,” Tim Burton has been unable to make a movie that does not fall back on his overindulgent and wildly repetitive themes. 
When he’s not doing dark twists on classic stories or overly schmaltzy stylistic children’s films, he’s making bloated overwrought studio pieces. I’m not saying “Mars Attacks!” isn’t great, but Burton permanently lost a lot of good will with “Planet of the Apes.”
I wish I could like “Alice In Wonderland.” I’m a big fan of imagination and style over substance, but the combination of a nauseating Depp, Burton rehashing the same movie he has been making since 2003, and the fact that it’s a sort-of-not-really-sequel will not get me to see it. 
The newest iteration of “Alice In Wonderland” was made by a focus group that had to decide how to make a film that would perfectly not appeal to me.
It’s based on a book I love. Wait, no it’s not. This version of “Alice in Wonderland” is a sequel to the original story. Wait, no it’s not. The sequel to the original “Alice in Wonderland” is “Through the Looking Glass.” So this is the sequel to a movie based on a book, however it is an alternative sequel that has no connection to the actual sequel.
It also stars Johnny Depp, one of the least interesting actors working today. Depp has made a career out of embracing childhood whimsy and throwing a little Hot Topic-ready goth style under it. His work is boring, predictable and done to death.
Other than “Beetlejuice” and “Batman Returns,” Tim Burton has been unable to make a movie that does not fall back on his overindulgent and wildly repetitive themes. 
When he’s not doing dark twists on classic stories or overly schmaltzy stylistic children’s films, he’s making bloated overwrought studio pieces. I’m not saying “Mars Attacks!” isn’t great, but Burton permanently lost a lot of good will with “Planet of the Apes.”
I wish I could like “Alice In Wonderland.” I’m a big fan of imagination and style over substance, but the combination of a nauseating Depp, Burton rehashing the same movie he has been making since 2003, and the fact that it’s a sort-of-not-really-sequel will not get me to see it.