I recently lost someone I loved.
His death would mark the sixth death of someone in my high school graduating class. First, there was Jalen, who was shot after a party by another classmate. Then there was Ariole who overdosed. There were a few others that I didn’t know. There was David, “Merc,” who died in a car crash.
Then, the death that put my life on hold. David Talley. Everyone called him Talley, but I called him David.
We dated on and off during my sophomore and junior year of high school. It was a rollercoaster, but I’ve come to appreciate the time we had together and the lessons I’ve learned from our relationship.
All I could think about was his daughter. She isn’t even a year old and now has to grow up without her father. And I thought about his mother, who had to bury her son.
My friends put me together days after his death and helped me celebrate my 21st trip around the sun and I’m so grateful for that. I was so caught up in all my emotions and they just wanted me to have a good time,even if it was only for a night.
I needed a break. I bought a ticket to see my family in California and to get some time away from school and life in general. As I prepared for my getaway I received a call from my friend who told me David’s funeral was going to be the day after I got there. I made plans with her and arranged for us to go.
I wasn’t thinking about the funeral the day before. I wasn’t even thinking about the funeral on the drive there. I couldn’t stop smiling at the memories David and I shared.
Then, we arrived and I saw the casket. That numb feeling was coming back again. I couldn’t feel my fingertips and the hot LA sun was beaming on my forehead.
I tried fighting back my tears, but I couldn’t help but cry. That’s all I did actually. I felt nauseous seeing someone I loved being laid to rest. I dug my nails into my hand forming a fist of pain in order to prevent myself from screaming.
The rest of the day was a blur. It was hard to think about anything other than him.
As I sat on the steps of his childhood home, staring off into the distance, I thought about everyone else who had passed away before they got the chance to live.
My mind went to Nasjay Murry, and all of a sudden, I was a freshman reading a senseless email from the university about that night. She was only 18. What if my life stopped at 18?
I thought about my friend Merc who lives on through his son and the mother of his kid. I then thought of my love, David, who lives on through his daughter. He was only 21. What if my life stopped at 21?
I’m telling you this because I want you to appreciate the time you have spent and will spend on this earth.
I remind myself every time I feel down. Every time something doesn’t go as planned, I remind myself that I’m still here living and breathing. I’m going into my final semester of college and I want to graduate and live for those who can’t. For those that should have been graduating:
Tomorrow is not guaranteed, so appreciate today.
