This summer, I promised myself that I would rediscover who I am.
When I looked in the mirror, I felt out of shape and insecure. I didn’t recognize the young man staring back at me.
I thought to myself: Where did everything go wrong?
As I sat in my empty, lonely apartment, I asked myself that question over and over. What happened to that boy who loved to play sports, stayed in shape and prioritized his mental and physical health?
What happened to that kid who loved reading so much that he would get in trouble for reading Harry Potter instead of doing classwork?
What happened to that teenager who bought every new shoe, loved fashion and cared deeply about his image?
After a few hours of talking to myself, I found the answer to my dilemma, rooted in a period where many people changed for better or worse: COVID-19.
During quarantine, schools and gyms closed. I stopped playing basketball and staying active, leading to weight gain. I stopped getting haircuts and buying new clothes because I was staying in the house so much that the things I held so dear to me didn’t feel necessary anymore.
When the quarantine was lifted and college started, my mindset remained the same.
I arrived at Bradley and outside of going to class, filming games for Braves Vision and writing for the newspaper, I stayed in my dorm.
I subconsciously stayed in this cycle for two years until that summer day when I vowed I would change. I wrote down goals to accomplish to return to the person I loved.
First, I bought basketball shoes and started to play again. It wasn’t the same, but I was exercising and losing weight.
Next, I bought a bookshelf and scavenged for interesting novels. The first book I read was “Red Rising” by Pierce Brown. After a few chapters, I was hooked and finished the book in less than two days.
Lastly, I began to dive back into fashion. My goal was to find my style. You’ll have to follow my Instagram for an update on that, though.
As I sit in my bed and type this column, I feel a lot better about the man I am becoming, but I have also realized that doing things as shallow as buying clothes or working out doesn’t make me who I am.
Life is not about loving the things you do. Life is about loving the person doing those things.
