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A sonnet to Bradley

Note: This article is a part of the April Fools’ Day edition, The Scoop, and is not meant to be taken seriously.

When I lay my eyes upon the radiant Hilltop,

All my breath slows to a stop.

I survey the verdant lawns under the skies

That drop misty rain into my eyes.


Looking up, I see Westlake Tower

As it loudly calls out the hour.

9 a.m. — I’m late for class.

Once again, my ass is grass.


Bradley has no equivalents;

It’s true that mid-size makes a big difference.

The institution that’s built to beyond

With slogans of which we’re all fond.


Truly the best of all schools  —

But wait, it’s April Fools.


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The Scout is published by members of the student body of Bradley University. Opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect those of the University.