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Flirting in the group chat

This article is part of the Voyeur 2020 💕


Every college student knows the excruciating pain of group projects. One person ends up doing most of the work and another completely disappears off the face of the planet upon planning a meet up. But I advise you to kick it up a notch this Valentine’s day. The soul-sucking, group paper is an opportunity to meet, mingle and make your move.

Keep it cool

Asking for someone’s number has never been easier. Just make sure you say “Oh, it’s for the group.” It’s almost as if professors are trying to match-make. But remember
to stay cool; DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES hit them with that “hey” the first night you make the chat. What are you doing anyway? Nobody starts that early on a group project. If there’s nothing done yet, there’s nothing to pretend to talk about. If this goes south right away, so will your grade.

Make a positive impression

Don’t be the kid who disappears until the night before. But also, don’t be the kid who deletes and edits everyone’s section of the paper. Find a nice, casual middle ground. Be the kid who makes a funny joke about the professor’s outfits or the helpful kid. Better yet, be the kid who sends good memes. You’re on the radar, but you’re flying low.

Find a reason to meetup

Once you’re deep into the project, it’s time to take it one-on-one. What you want to avoid (and this is crucial) is asking someone out while still in the groupchat. Your rejection in a group setting could just be the looming cloud hanging over the rest of the awkward project. Instead, find a reason to head for that private chat. For example, “I noticed you’re really good at [blank,] could you help me out” is a perfect starter-template for romance. It’s both a compliment and a segue into a one-on-one conversation.

Seal the deal

Once the project is over, it’s finally safe to ask them out. It’s absolutely key that you don’t ask said group member out while the group is still meeting once a week. Nobody needs or deserves to sit uncomfortably at a table in the library while you two flirt. Think of your Sakai submission as a green light, and go! “Hey, wanna celebrate the end of that project at Jimadores with Margarita towers?” is a smooth transition into a date.

Remember, a group project doesn’t necessarily have to be all bad. Follow this advice and your dreadful paper might just end in romance this Valentine’s season. (Results are subject to human error. I am not a licensed matchmaker). 

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