Note: This article is a part of the April Fools’ Day edition, The Scoop, and is not meant to be taken seriously.
- At 1:02 a.m. on March 21 at Harper Hall, a non-Bradley-affiliated baby stole an unlocked vehicle and got into a high-speed car chase with the entire BUPD. The chase stopped after the baby pulled into Starbucks and got out to order a drink. The baby was then arrested and taken into custody. While being handcuffed, the baby spoke their first words: “Iced Caramel Mocha.”
- At 9 a.m. on March 23 on Olin Quad, a rabid squirrel bit three Bradley students. The students were taken to UnityPoint Health – Methodist Hospital, refused treatment and were released shortly after. The squirrel has not been found and a warrant has been put out for their arrest.
- Around 3:52 a.m. on March 26 at Williams Hall, the building collapsed after a slight breeze swept across the campus. Ten minutes before falling, residents reported hearing cracking. At that point, everyone was advised to leave the building. No one was injured in the incident.
- Around 5 a.m. on March 29 at The Scoop’s office, string lights that were left on caught on fire and the office was set ablaze. The Peoria Fire Department arrived shortly after and put out the flames. The only items that survived were desks, chairs, a sombrero and a single miniature plastic trophy.
