Escaping all of the reminders that you are alone on Valentine’s Day, yet again, can be an impossible challenge. You can’t look at any social media without everyone’s love in your face. All of your friends are spending the day with their significant other.
The only place that you can find comfort for your sorrows is the bottom of a bottle, and lucky for you, I’ve compiled the best drinks to accompany you through these harsh times.
The worst: any wine
We’ll start with the worst of the pack. You may think its sweet to wed yourself to a bottle of wine for the evening, but you’ll quickly realize that there’s nothing sadder than downing a bottle of it alone. While it may get the job done, you’ll constantly be reminded of your lonesomeness, which leads to even more self-pity.
5. Premade cocktails/margaritas
I don’t have anything against these, but they usually lack in alcohol content, and as a result, can get pretty expensive. Additionally, unless you’re picky about taste, they struggle to fit the occasion. They’re social drinks, and you’re drinking alone. They’ll do the trick if that’s what you prefer though. I recommend any margarita on the planet, but specifically Skinny Girl, as it’s not as bad as everyone says and you won’t have to think about all of the calories that usually accompany with mixed drinks.
4. Any vodka
I’m not much of a vodka drinker – it all tastes like paint thinner to me – but it’s a crowd favorite. It hits hard enough that you won’t have any time to speculate the reason for your loneliness or how cheap you are for settling for it.
3. Bailey’s
Forget the 12 o’clock rule. Assuming you don’t have to drive for a few hours or you’re vegan, Bailey’s alcoholic coffee creamer can be the perfect way to drown all of your sorrows from the moment you get out of bed. Bailey’s is also relatively inexpensive, for the cheap single.
2. DeLeon Platinum Tequila
Puff Daddy’s signature tequila may be exactly what you are looking for when trying to drink couple’s night away. It’s both classy and strong, reminding you that it isn’t your fault that you’re single. Of course it isn’t.
1.Crown Royal
This is my absolute favorite cure for sadness, sickness or any other ailment that I must overcome. You can casually sip on it while you slowly let the evening take you away, or you can take shots if you want to forget the night even existed. The unique part of Crown is its perceived elegance. It is usually kept behind the counter anywhere you go, has a sleek purple bag around it (used mine for Dungeons and Dragons dice when I was in high school, just so I can verify my experiences with being single) and comes in a box. This stuff has the magic of making you feel like you are royalty, even if you are alone on your throne.
Pick the poison that fits what you’re feeling and I promise you’ll make it through this Valentine’s Day.
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Every year, we publish a Valentine’s Day edition of our Voice section in order to bring the spirit of love to campus. We’re excited to bring you a number of articles (some serious, some satirical) dedicated to sex, relationships, the history of Valentine’s Day and more.
Should you plan to celebrate this day of romance with someone, be sure to stay safe and practice healthy sexual habits – and if you’re planning on cuddling up alone or with friends to watch movies and eat discount chocolates, that works perfectly, too. Whatever you decide to do, be sure to have fun.
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