Note: This article is a part of the April Fools’ Day edition, The Scoop, and is not meant to be taken seriously.
After a 10-year career in which he led Bradley to two NCAA Tournament appearances, an MVC regular season title and three consecutive NIT appearances, men’s basketball head coach Brian Wardle has decided to move on from the program.
In his time at Bradley, he won 186 games, which places fourth on the school’s all-time win list.
“My time at Bradley was amazing,” Wardle said. “We won many games, built many lasting memories and the community embraced me. I’m sad I couldn’t bring the city one more NCAA tournament appearance.”
The unexpected news of Wardle’s departure reverberated throughout the city of Peoria, leaving the community in disbelief. His strong ties and contributions to the city led many to believe he was a permanent fixture in the River City.
His reason for leaving may shock fans.
“I’m just tired of being in the Midwest, to be honest with you, especially Peoria,” Wardle said. “The people here are great, don’t get me wrong, but the food here sucks. There’s also nothing to do but coach, watch film and look at the riverfront. I guess I’m just bored.”
Wardle’s next destination? A place no one could have predicted.
“I’ve decided to take my coaching talents to the sunny beaches of Hawaii,” Wardle said. “But not for basketball. I’m going to be a professional surfing coach. I’ve never surfed, but I’ve watched enough YouTube videos to get the basics down. Plus, if I can coach players through the madness of the Missouri Valley Conference, I can coach a few guys to ride some waves.”
The decision blindsided Bradley Athletic Director Chance Richards.
“I thought he was joking when he first told me,” Richards said. “Then he started listing off different brands of sunscreen he was thinking about trying. That’s when I knew he was serious.”
As for Bradley’s future, Richards says the search for a new head coach will begin immediately. However, some players are holding onto hope that Wardle might have a change of heart and return to lead them.
“We tried to convince him to stay by offering to take him to a different restaurant,” senior guard Daniel Deen said. “But he just kept mumbling about poke bowls and how the Midwest doesn’t have ‘real fish.’”
