Author’s note: This piece is meant to provide a perspective against Halloween. Some of the aspects and thoughts in this peice are overdramatized for effect.
You know what doesn’t go together? Thin and cheap clothing, cold weather and a high chance of alcohol. But hey, college kids still find themselves in this situation each Halloween anyway.
I’m not a Halloween person because I’m not a supporter of people dressing up in ways that are deceiving or possibly scary. We already wear so many facades in our day-to-day life, letting the world see only one side of us; why do people have to add a mask to that equation?
And seriously, how hasn’t Halloween been completely revamped? We’ve practically re-shaped all other holidays: Columbus is actually not a great person, Christmas is too commercial and the first Thanksgiving was a fabrication of American folklore.
So, how is a pagan holiday where the main basis is scaring people and dressing up as cinematic murderers still around? How are we still celebrating a day where strangers pass candy around to children at the doorstep of their houses (candy that MIGHT be filled with razor blades)?
And what’s the point of haunted houses? Why would I live a conscious version of my nightmares? I don’t need people who have fake intentions of killing me jumping out and scaring me. I already have a hard enough time watching “Silence of the Lambs” without having a sheet over my face.
Also, Halloween is the only holiday meant to be a precursor holiday that is better than the holiday that follows. Christmas Eve has Christmas; New Year’s Eve has New Year’s Day and All Hallows Eve has poor All Saints Day, which gets no love.
So if you see me at a Halloween party that requires a costume, you’ll see a piece of ducktape slapped against my shirt with the word “COSTUME” Sharpied across it.
Deal with it.
