Sincerely, seniors

Dear Bradley, We’ve definitely done our share of complaining over the past four years. The winters here are brutal and the air never quite smells

Read More »

Earthly Anthem

Remember “We are the World?” The anthem that every top chart artist had a role in when the 7.2 magnitude earthquake hit Haiti in 2009.

Read More »

#GirlsSupportGirls

You’ve heard it before. It’s trended on Twitter, it’s on merch all over the internet and it’s the phrase we say sarcastically after saying something

Read More »

Work hard, darty harder.

Although the weather may not lead you to believe it, #dartyszn is upon us. Does drinking all day eliminate drinking all night? Am I an

Read More »

The art of the house party

You can hear music the second the safety cruiser drops you off, the faint melody of Bluefaces’ lyrical masterpiece, “Thotiana” graces the air. Your shoes

Read More »

Screening screen time

Yes, I am a millennial. I can text and walk without tripping over my feet and I know to strategically screen record our conversations so

Read More »

Halloween then vs. now

Remember the best day of the year in elementary school?

Halloween.

Walking around the classroom giving out candy, maybe enjoying a cupcake and of course getting to dress up as anything you wanted. The day went by slowly because the countdown to ringing doorbells for unlimited treats took ages.

Only rookies used the plastic pumpkin to carry candy; one false move and you’d have a broken handle and have to start over again. Hardcore trick-or-treaters knew pillowcases were the best option to take full advantage of the limitless walking buffet that awaited.

Sometimes things didn’t go your way, like when raisins or dental floss were thrown into your bag from the “Get off my lawn” family on the block.

Then you’d get lucky. Approaching a new house, prepared for the “one per person” rule and there’d be a bowl. A bowl full of candy. Dumping the whole thing into your pillowcase was asking for bad karma, but taking an extra piece or two wouldn’t hurt.

You’d get a late bedtime, school night or not, but of course would have some trouble sleeping on account of your inevitable buzzing sugar rush.

Remember Halloween last year?

Skipping around the bar trying to remember which “promiscuous cat” or “out of this world alien” you showed up with? Yeah, me too.

The night is never ending because one house party leads to the next, and staying out late doesn’t mean much when everyone is going to be hungover in class the next day, right?

Sometimes things don’t go your way, like when your friend throws up in the Uber and your account gets charged an extra $130 (No, I’m thankfully not speaking from experience.)

Then you’d get lucky. Approaching a new bar fully prepared to blow half a paycheck on overpriced drinks when you see an “all you can drink” sign. Blacking out is ill-advised, but letting yourself commemorate this historical holiday we all observe without question won’t hurt anyone, (Please drink responsibly).

Your bedtime doesn’t exist because you don’t leave your house from the pregame until 12:30 and the bars downtown don’t close until 4 a.m.

Years ago, your calories came from candy, this year they’re coming from the flavored vodka in your “Sex on the Beach” drink.

Then it was throwing up from a sugar overdose, now it’s from whatever was in the pitcher your friends convinced you to order.

Back in the day it was dressing up as a bumblebee, mom insisting on a coat overtop consequently flattening your wings. This year you’re dressing up as a bumblebee, but wearing only the wings.

Now, you’re more scared of paying the rent on your house than visiting a haunted house, and the question about post-graduation plans is way more frightening than anything a scary clown could throw your way.

Times are changing, the spooky thoughts that kept you up 10 years ago aren’t the same as the ones keeping you up now.

Sign up for our newsletter

Sign up for our newsletter

reCAPTCHA