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Screening screen time

Yes, I am a millennial. I can text and walk without tripping over my feet and I know to strategically screen record our conversations so you don’t get a screenshot notification from me. If you think I’m going to stand in an elevator in awkward silence without my smartphone in my palm, you’re crazy.

So …  I guess I am what’s wrong with our generation. I get it. Am I ashamed of it? Absolutely not.

Social media is my world. If I’m lost, the last thing I’m going to do is ask for directions; human interaction is so 2015. In 2019 we’re dropping pins, using Snap map and asking Siri for assistance.

The stereotypes may be true, but I’m here to tell you that my brain isn’t 100 percent mush and, contrary to popular belief, I do know how to hold a conversation with a real human.

My phone is my sensei, my “Jiminy Cricket” if you will. If you’re coming to my house for dinner, you know I’m whipping something up I learned from a “Tasty” video. If we’re going out to eat, I’m Yelping beforehand, and instead of asking the name of a song at a pre-game, my Shazam app has already added it to my Apple music library.

A few updates ago, Apple started informing us how much time we average on our devices, which can be a big reality check if you’re someone who is ashamed to be a part of the millennial mindset.

My advice to you is to own it. Tighten your man bun, have a conversation with your “Alexa” and sell weight-loss tea on your Instagram because no matter how bad the stereotype is, millennials get things done and it’s the rectangle glued to our palms that is helping us do so.

The line that separates productive and destructive social media usage is the reason behind your browsing. There’s a difference between straining your eyes over your ex’s Instagram profile in the middle of the night and creating a bucket-list from your favorite blogger’s travel montages on Twitter.

If you’re curating playlists for your friends, keep on keeping on. If you’re laughing at baby videos on Facebook, go heeeaaaad. If slime videos on your explore page are what gets you to sleep each night, godspeed.

Use your millennialism for good ­– there are so many things out there, so try to pick the positive ones to never be able to put down if you’re addicted to your phone like I am.

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The Scout is published by members of the student body of Bradley University. Opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect those of the University.