Hey, I’m Tumblr. You probably haven’t talked to me in a while, but don’t worry I’m still here. You’re either really into me, or not at all. These days I serve as a locker to store all of the teenage angst swarming around adolescents. Feeling sad? Scroll through my dashboard. Feeling inspired? Scroll through my dashboard. There’s a blog for every mood and a page for every aesthetic.
What’s up party people, it’s Facebook! Remember me? We used to be so close, but now my more mature audience hasn’t left much room for youth. I’m full of your grandma’s opinions, your mom’s friend’s compliments and your classic rants that cover just about anything from airline complaints to Craigslist horror stories. I remember when you were younger, constantly asking for a “truth is” post for attention, or wasting time on “Farmville.” Careful with opinions while using me, I’m not great at keeping secrets and I can’t promise things won’t get hostile.
Twitter here! I’m all the rage right now, but I probably don’t have to remind you. People of all ages all over include me in their daily routines. If you’re wasting time lying on the floor in the dark waiting for your dog to give you attention, I am the place that validates those actions. Scrolling through your feed will reassure you that there are people doing the same thing and even taking it to the next level. No one is weird on my platform, everyone has a voice. Some lose hours scrolling until their thumbs can’t go on finding relatable content funny enough to send to your squad group chats knowing they’ll appreciate it just as much as you did.
YouTube, checking in! You probably met me when you were young, reeaaallly young. Watching “fail compilations and viral videos only” kind of young. You may have one or two “YouTubers” you are attached to from a series or podcast, that’s perfectly normal. Make sure you click the subscribe button and the red bell for notifications; we hope to see you soon!
Instagram in the house! You can find all the trendy people and pictures with me. Models, athletes, celebrities, oh my! Make sure to follow one of my many influencers who preach detox tea and gummy hair vitamins and manage to look amazing while doing it. How’s your aesthetic? You’re using more than one app to edit your photos, right? Get settled in, catch up on the latest memes and slide into someone’s DM’s because I’m here to stay.
Last, but certainly not least, I’m Snapchat. I’m a little more popular with middle schoolers and high schoolers these days just because the appropriate age to have an iPhone seems to be going down by the second. The younger they are, the more streaks they keep up with. I guess there’s some new kind of excitement that stems from keeping the fire emoji alive next to all 36 of their closest friends. Whether you’re sending double chin pictures, or photos only meant to be seen by one specific pair of eyes, I can be a lot of fun. The overused puppy filter is still somehow a hit, and there’s plenty more where that came from.
